Ronovan’s Friday Fiction is a challenge this week. Humor from one who can’t tell a joke? Let’s give it a whirl.
Caring For Your Schnauzer
by Ima Le’Amature
Chapter 4 Toys
You’ll recall in chapter 1 I discussed that a Schnauzer’s intent and purpose is to be a ratter. Your pet will enthusiastically hunt and kill any small varmint and bring it back to lie at your feet. Of course the dog wants his reward for doing a superlative job, and stands there with his stub of a tail doing a helicopter style wag. It’s quite alarming to look down and see a small grey mole gasping for it’s last breath. What was I to do, give the creature mouth to mouth resuscitation?
With this incident in mind, you think of what will distract your dog from this dark deed of murder. Off we go to The Pet Store. Have you wondered what people did before pet stores? Dishes, water dispensers, beds, products to groom, products to keep the dog away from your precious plants, dental products, vitamins, treats not to mention isles after isles of dog food, and last, but never least, toys.
Here in the multiple displays and enormous bins you’ll find toys that are soft and some made of plastic or raw hide. There are toys that squeak, talk and or move. Some toys that encourage fetching, as in balls, balls made to resemble tennis balls. (Why not buy some balls from Wall Mart? It’s cheaper, and you get 3 balls.) You’ll find smooth balls, balls with tiny nubs, rubber balls, plastic balls, balls that have a light that comes on when the ball moves.
There’s a case devoted for animal toys, anything from alligators, skunks and zebras. Right next to these you’ll find braided ropes in tri colors or solids, in school colors, and in assorted sizes for the Chihuahua or mega-enormous dogs with a warning to “watch your hands, use at your own peril.”
I’ve found that dogs tend to have different styles of play with toys. Let’s say you have an aggressive dog and you bring home an adorable raccoon that squeaks. Your pet is super excited, a toy! Gently you show your dog the toy. Before you can say bingo, the little carnivore rips it from your hand along with a piece of your own skin. All day long he has the toy and disappears for hours at a time. In the distance you can hear the squeak, squeak of the infernal toy. At last silence. You think you better check. Sitting on his comfy bed is your pet with the last of the plastic squeaker hanging from his eye tooth, surrounded by the fake fur of the funny stuffed toy. an ear here, a tail there. In one day your pet is given a new name, Beast. You are in shock. You are optimistic. It was because it is his first toy and you buy another one. The last time you tell yourself as the same outcome happens with the toy kitty. (See Chapter 13 Will Your Dog Die From eating Squeaker Toys?)
Please give me your critique.